There are certain moral and ethical values which must always be observed during a massage. The client’s level of comfort must be respected at all times, nor must a massage turn sexual in any way. A practitioner is obliged to full discretion and can never reveal any personal information about a client.
I have often been asked the question of nudity during a massage. How much is a client supposed to undress. I always tell them to undress as much as they are comfortable. It is essential that a client can fully relax while laying on the table and not worry about being naked or what a therapist might think about how they look like. For women I insist on the removal of the bra in order to massage the back properly. If they are uncomfortable when they turn, I drape them with a towel.
Different countries and massage types have various laws and regulations in regards to nudity on the massage table. For instance, in the USA it is mandatory to use draping and/or wear underwear during a massage, while in France there is no such law and it is common not to use draping and be completely naked on the table.
Various massage techniques also benefits from various levels of undressing. Thai massage, Shiatsu and others can easily be done while the client is fully dressed, as long as their clothes do not obstruct or hinder movements, or sit too tightly. Massage Créatif, Californian massage and other full body treatments greatly benefits from full nudity since the clothing obstructs the long smooth movements and breaks the massage rhythm. Deep tissue massage, Swedish massage and other massage form which work on particular zones only requires that the area being worked is nude.
Many therapists leave the buttocks covered during a massage, which is in reality a great shame. There are five large muscles in the buttocks which serve to connect the back with the legs. By ignoring these muscles, the back and thighs can’t be completely treated as tensions are not only is found in one area, but also in the neighbouring ones. For example, to treat a lower back pain, the muscles at the buttocks will also need treatment since they are connected to the back muscles.
Bottom line is that the client must always feel comfortable and relaxed with the level of nudity, and the therapist must always respect this. A person who is very conscious about themselves and being naked can’t relax fully, nor let go and receive the treatment to the maximum effect.
The body can react to the intimacy of a massage without there being anything sexual in it. Therapists are taught that this is a natural reaction and not to pay attention to it, or even let the client know they have noticed anything.
For men it is natural to get an erection while receiving a massage. It is a physical reaction triggered by nerves and physical stimuli to sensitive areas. Women also can get physical reactions, though these are usually much less visible.
The more worried and stressed a client is about physical reactions to a massage, the more likely it is going to happen. It is a little trick our mind plays, and the recommendation is to breathe deeply, focus on breathing, try and ignore the physical reaction and just allow oneself to enjoy the massage. There is nothing sexual at all in getting an erection or another physical reaction to a massage.
The more used to getting a massage one is, the less is the risk of any physical reaction. The client can relax more and the ‘taboo‘ of being touched has been ‘broken’ and become a natural thing.
A therapist must never touch the genitals or nipples. These are off-limit areas due to the intimacy of such a touch, nor is there any therapeutic benefit to such massage. A woman’s breasts are not massaged either. A massage can be a sensual enjoyable experience, but it must never become sexual.
If the genitals happen to be in the way during the massage that area is just not massaged. There are plenty of techniques which can be used instead, and many surrounding areas which can be treated without having to relocate anything.
To sum up. Nudity is normal and non-sexual. Erections do happen and are completely natural. A massage therapist is trained to ignore such reactions. And a massage therapist will never touch any private areas.
Related articles: More about Massage and Nudity, Massage and the Sexual Aspect.
Dear Ms PoulsonI was directed to this blog entry from another forum and I wanted to tell you it is very informative and helpful. I am one of those people who worry about getting an erection, and I had a question about this. You mentioned that the therapist is trained to ignore this reaction. However I find there is still a lot of embarrassment on my part, even if the therapist isn’t embarrassed. My question is whether it is appropriate the let the therapist know in advance that an erection might happen. If it is, could you suggest an appropriate form of words or sentences to convey this tactfully? Can you also suggest when is the best time during the pre-massage discussion the client should mention this. Thank you very much again.
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 24 August, 2008, 13:47Dear Anonymous,I am very happy my article has been helpful to you.If you should let the therapist know in advance essentially comes down to if it will make you feel the most comfortable.If it will make you feel better and more relaxed by talking about it, then by all means do it. I would suggest you mention it when you feel safe and comfortable, which likely will be before you undress, but in the privacy of the massage-room. Or once you’re undressed but covered by draping.The wording is a tricky thing. You should say what is natural for you and comfortable for you. If you are usually blunt and outspoken, then speak bluntly and let the therapist know that you have a tendency to get erections from being massaged and would like to warn her or him it might happen.If you seek more of a reassurance and feel uncomfortable speaking about it, use a more indirect approach. Mention to the therapist that you feel you have a problem that makes you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. This way you can turn it into a small conversation where the therapist gets the chance to reassure you that it doesn’t matter.If you feel better just not talking about it, then don’t say anything. The less you worry about what the therapist might think and what might happen, the less likely it is to happen.I hope the above was useful to you. Feel free to contact me via mail or here if you have further questions.
Posted by Pia | Monday 25 August, 2008, 08:05A reader wrote: <>Personally I am not embarrassed about it as things like this must happen from time to time. However, I am worried in case I embarrassed or offended her in anyway. Should I apologise to her next time? Should I even go back again? Has anything like this happened to you in your experience that you could use to help me? <>As a massage therapist we’re trained to know that erections are natural and nothing personal against us. Based on your description, you didn’t embarrass or offend her or make her uncomfortable. As you write, she acted normal afterwards. My guess would be she was more concerned about you feeling uncomfortable with the open display of the erection as the drape moved aside.I don’t think you need to give an apology. As long as you both are comfortable with it happening and do not change behaviour due to it, then there is nothing to apologize for. She knows that it is natural to happen. Massaging the upper thigh, and especially the inner thigh, does stimulate nerves which can cause an erection. It is one of the most sensitive areas of the body and generally seen as an erogenous zone as well.If you liked the massage and her treatment of you, then of course you should go back to her. It can be hard to find a good massage therapist who suits you and can address your needs and problems in a way that makes you completely comfortable with it. So as long as you are satisfied with her treatment, feel comfortable with her and enjoy it, then I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t go back.She is a new therapist to you and her touch a bit unfamiliar, so it’s not unusual that erections happen more in the beginning until you fully get used to her healing touch.Personally I would be sad if a client felt they had to change therapist because they had an erection while I gave them a massage. It is nothing I pay attention to and my main worry is more if the client starts to feel uncomfortable about it and if they can relax fully. I certainly don’t bring it up afterwards and I think I would feel embarrassed should I receive an apology afterwards. To me it’s one of those things that you just ignore, just like farting is ignored or snoring when some fall asleep on the table. There is no need to make the situation uncomfortable by bringing it up afterwards in my opinion.
Posted by Pia | Thursday 23 October, 2008, 06:41I chanced on this site when I was looking for something totally different. But I thought how sensitive and sensible it was of Pia to write these two phrases: “For men it is natural to get an erection while receiving a massage…… There is nothing sexual at all in getting an erection or another physical reaction to a massage.” How refreshing, when in England most people try to pretend such things never happen or should not happen. I feel sure that many more men in England would be wiling to take the benefits of massage, aromatherapy and the like if only they were assured that Pia’s understanding would be applied. Well said Pia, please broadcast your message far and wide!
Posted by Lifelong Learner | Tuesday 9 December, 2008, 17:35Dear Lifelong Learner,Thank you for your words. I am trying to spread the word. Comments like yours help with that and helps with the general education about massage and what good it can do us all.Cheers.Pia
Posted by Pia | Wednesday 10 December, 2008, 20:12I would like to add that last week i seeked the need of an experienced massage therapist and for a problemb with a sore back any way my therapist suggested getting undressed all the way untill nude she also did the right by stating that if i was uncomfortable i can leave underware on, so i did just that i got completely nude and yes at first i felt embarised but i allowed the sesion to go ahead and yes also during the session i got a partial errection and at that piont i did feel embarrised as she was working around the hip area and yes my erection was right in her eyes and yes again i felt slightly uncomfortable and yes my therapist did make eye contact when this happened but no wards were said and she continued her work and slowly i regained my composure but i have now found that being naked was a wonderfull experience and i recommend it to all and hopefully i am over being tense/ shy and hopfully my next massage will turn out to be less of a worry and i will enjoycd
Posted by Anonymous | Friday 12 December, 2008, 22:20Hi cd,I’m happy that you had a good experience with getting a massage and overcoming your shyness. Congratulations, it’s great to hear.Pia
Posted by Pia | Saturday 13 December, 2008, 16:35Dear Ms PoulsonI have been going to a Lady for massage to help my sciatica but I had to keep my underwear on. I saw her my be 10 times it did not help that much then I changed therapists after reading your artical and the new Lady said that I should remove my underwear so she could do my buttocks I was a little bothered in case I got an erection but she put my mind at rest and after 2 or 3 treatments my sciatica was much better and even when I got an erection i was not embarrassed about it
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 15 March, 2009, 08:50Dear Anonymous,I’m happy to hear my article was useful to you and you found a therapist who could help with your sciatica.Rhere are techniques which can be performed through cloth. Especially pressure, releasing trigger points, does not care if there’s cloth between or not. Other techniques such as stripping (gliding firmly over the skin) can’t be done with clothing.
Posted by Pia | Monday 16 March, 2009, 08:04Thank you for your reply Ms Poulson the first lady I saw only massaged my upper back and then started again half way down my leg my underwear was boxer shorts and she did not move them at all. What I read in your article it is good to have your buttocks massage and my new lady massages all my back buttocks and legs and I am sure it helps my sciatica. She only massages my legs and tummy and top part of my groin on the front I think it is because of the time she spent on my back. The first time I saw my new lady and she was massaging my legs and tummy I did become erect but she had told me in the consultaion that it was a common thing to happen and that I should not be embarrassed about it if it did happen and that is the same as what you said in your article. I do find it happens less now I have got used to being naked
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 16 March, 2009, 20:25Hi PiaThank you vey much for your informative posts. I have received a few massages over the years from different therapists and they have been very helpful in relieving stress and sore muscles. I often have got an erection when they do the hips, buttocks, inner thigh and hamstrings. I have gotten very embarrassed, they have never said anything except for when i apologise and they say it is fine.But twice with different therapists i have ejaculated while my hamstrings were getting massaged, is this normal? i was so embarrased they didnt say anything when it happened but they must have known. Im actually going back to see one of them soon and do you think i should bring it up for discussion? and what should i say? im worried it will happen again and im not sure if they saw it happen the first time, and i also need the area massaged as it gets very tight. I would appreciate some guidance on this issue from you. Thanks.
Posted by Aaorn | Friday 27 March, 2009, 09:36Dear Aaorn,I don’t know if it’s normal or precisely what would case it, expect that the thighs, especially the inner thighs are highly sensitive and that you might have associated the massage-touches with erotic touches subconsciously. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of it happening, though I think it’s uncommon.To be able to speak about matters like this you need trust. So if you feel you trust your therapist, then I think you should speak about it. You can always ask the therapist if he or she knows why a thing like that happened and what they might recommend. I know it’s a topic that’s difficult to speak about, being so private and embarrassing at the same time. I am a strong believer in open communication though. It’s the best way to brush away worries and bring education on the table. So if you pose it as a question, trying to learn why a thing like that would happen, you approach it in a manner that’s less personal than directly addressing your prior experience. You’ll leave the ball in the therapist’s courtyard and can from their reaction judge if it’s a topic they’re comfortable speaking about or not.I hope this helped. I’ll do a bit of research into the topic and see if I might learn anything. It’s not something which was covered during my training I must admit, but I have contact to many skilled massage therapists all over the world and I’m sure someone there can help.Cheers.Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 27 March, 2009, 15:28Bonjour madame Poulson,It’s nice to read an article like that from time to time. Most of the time asking to be nude is immediatly interpreted as something unhealthy or related to a sexual request. I’m a lucky man here, I often visit two therapists (one is actually a registered therapist and the other is a “masseuse” with an course in sports massage but no certification) and both of them, after getting to know each other for a few sessions, allowed me to be completely nude during the session. As far as I’m concerned this does make the massage more sensual than when draped, but since it’s understood between me and the therapists that i’m not looking for a sexual outcome, we’re cool. I get erections during the sessions, depending on the region being massaged, but I just breathe deeply, relax, and we both act as if nothing happens. The end result is a massage that is more fluid, more sensual, yet not sexual. I end up waaaay more relaxed in the end and would not go back to being draped. Have a nice day!
Posted by Anonymous | Saturday 28 March, 2009, 21:23Bonjour Anonymous,It’s good to hear you’ve found two therapists who give good massages and you have a healthy relationship between you without misunderstandings.It is a problem to talk about sensual massages. Because the sex-business has abused the word massage, sensual massage often becomes a cover-word for sexual services and many people misunderstand what is meant.I’ve had plenty of enquiries about sensual and sexual massages and it seems that everybody inquiring for one use the word sensual as a synonym for sexual.I would suggest that if you seek an undraped massage not to use words like sensual as the therapist will likely be used to men inquiring about sexual massages while using the word sensual. In our day and time a word like sensual is heavily sexually loaded and most can’t make the distinction between them.It’s a hard thing to explain and I think you’ve almost have to have been there to truly understand the difference.It’s great you’ve found a couple of therapists where there’s no issues, and I think your approach is a good one as well. Give the therapists a change to get to know you before stepping beyond what is norm and limits for many.
Posted by Pia | Monday 30 March, 2009, 06:40Hi PiaThank you very much for your response i glad to know it has happened with other men and not just me! I would appreciate it if you do manage to get more information on the matter from other therapists as well and get back to me.Just for record both times the ejactulations occured it was when i was on my stomach and the hamstrings were getting massaged, i always get an erection when this area is getting massaged and i just lost control.Im getting my next massage in a few days and will let you know how things go, im still unsure if i will discuss it with the therapist yet as i dont want to offend her if she didnt see it happening. I just hope it doesnt happen this time.thanks
Posted by Aaorn | Thursday 2 April, 2009, 02:36Dear Ms Poulson,I have been visiting a spa over the past eight months about twice a month. The last visit turned out to be quite embarrassing. It is mandatory to wear underwear in this spa. Usually myself and therapist are quite comfortable even though I have an erection while massaging sensitive areas. In the last visit while being massaged in my inner thigh, I could not control and ended up ejaculating and was quite embarrassed, it was nice of the therapist though to continue ignoring my situation. And in fact I enjoyed the massage much better after ejaculation… and was more relaxed. I have started to think may be it is better to go for a massage after a masturbation to truly enjoy without being distracted… do you suggest if this may be more tiring or I just continue even if it happens again as the therapist seems to understand and ignore? Also, the therapists here also massage my nipples regularly. Is this normal as I had not experienced this in other spas anywhere else in the world. It is very nice to see clear and sensible communication in this blog about these concerns and especially prompt response from yourself.
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 7 April, 2009, 09:11I’ll come back and answer questions and give general advice in a couple of days. I’m getting other professional opinions and want to sit down and have time to give a good in depth answer and good suggestions.One thing now though, if it continues to be a problem, see your doctor. There can be other more serious problems behind involuntarily ejaculations.
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 7 April, 2009, 18:53For ejaculations during a massage it can come down to several things. First of I’d like to repeat that an erection is completely natural and happens when men relax. Just think of how it can happen during the night. Nothing mysterious there at all.Ejaculation is more unusual and doesn’t happen to the majority of men. There are several factors which can play in.1. There can be medical reasons, both in regards to medicine taken which can cause dysfunctions in the body, or it can be a sign of other health problems. So if it’s an ongoing problem, do visit a physician to rule out any serious causes.2. See a male massage therapist and see if the same happens. To many men, a female touch is subconsciously seen as sensual and erotic and that might be a factor. If the ejaculation also happens while visiting a male massage therapist, and continues to do so, then see a physician to rule out any serious health problems.3. Young men tend to be much more sensitive to touch and if they do not engage regularly with a sexual partner this can be a reason also. 4. People, both men and women, who’re celebrate and haven’t engaged in sexual activity with a partner for a while can experience touch and massage as erotic and react accordingly. So take into consideration the quality of your sex-life as well as how long it’s been.4. The more used to massages you are, the less sensual it will become. Our mind tends to draw its own connections. And if we think that touch and nudity (or even partial nudity) equals erotic adventures and sexuality, then getting a massage will subconsciously be seen as such. One thing that can be done is to train your mind to disassociate touch and sexuality. Touching people there is no sexual connection with. Hugging family members, giving a back-rub clothed to a friend of the same gender (or opposite if gay), applying cream and do self-massage and so on. All things that are non-sexual but involves touching of your body. This way you’ll teach your mind that touch isn’t sexual and better be able to relax on the massage table. This can be useful if celebrate and the problem severe.Of course, getting a bunch of non-erotic massages will do the trick. Just make sure that you do not get any erotic massages either. If you get an erotic massage, then you’ll break the disassociation you’ve created. Teach yourself that massage isn’t sexual in any way and the problem with erections and ejaculations should subside and disappear completely.Again, if the problem continues, or you’re in doubt, see your physician to rule out any medical or health reasons.We’re humans and as humans, touch is a much needed part of our lives. Our culture doesn’t support touch much and that can cause a problem when touch is mostly seen as a sexual activity and not a natural expression of care and understanding.
Posted by Pia | Thursday 9 April, 2009, 08:17Dear Ms Poulson,Thank you again for being so open about every thing. I told you about my siatica and being much better being massaged with out underwear on well the therapist massages a lot on my buttocks and thighs in side and out. I am 61 years old but when she is massaging my inside leg I keep thingking that I am going to ended up ejaculating I have told her but she just said It will not happen because I am to old
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 13 April, 2009, 21:24I’m really glad to see that a more open communication with your massage therapist happens.
It is important that these things can be spoken about and be brought into the open for the best treatment and experience for the client. But also for the massage therapists to ensure there are no misunderstandings.
Unfortunately it’s still a very private and almost taboo topic, but hopefully we can slowly encourage a more open communication as we all become better educated with these matters.
I’m grateful that my post and responses are helpful and useful. That was the idea of writing about this topic in the first place since it is such a delicate matter to discuss.
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 14 April, 2009, 06:07Hi Pia
Thank you very much for doing some research on the subject. I found it very informative and helpful for my situation. While i dont think its a medical problem i do tend to have a problem with premature ejaculation sometimes which probably contributes to the issue. I do think one thing you stated is correct in my situation that i may subconsciously think that a womens touch is sensual in a way, so that is one thing im going to work on!
I did state i would let you know how my most recent massage went and the same thing happened i ejaculated in the same position on my stomach getting my upper hamstrings massaged, so im also wondering now if i subconsciously associate that specific area with ejaculation. I was too scared to apologise or say anything at the time. Although when i turned onto my back and i got an erection when my hips were getting massaged and it got in the therapists way i apologised to her. She didnt say anything back just moved to another area and continued. I was worried she was mad about it but she carried on as normal and was friendly at the end and asked when i would like my next appointment. So i was thinking may be it has happened to her before and thats how she likes to deal with it?
I really appreciate that you are here to talk about issues like this Pia otherwise i would be lost! and i suppose it helps with your learning and development in your profession.
Posted by Aaorn | Friday 17 April, 2009, 13:00Hi Aaorn,
I’m grateful you’ve found answers to some of all your questions and concerns. I find it’s always easier to deal with a challenge when I know what it is that scares me and upsets me about it.
As for erections, they’re very common. About 50% of all men I massage get them, the less used to massage they are the more frequent it is. As your therapist did, I just move around it, don’t pay attention to the situation and normally, massage elsewhere will cause the erection to subside and the areas that it covered can then be addressed.
When you do draped massages, you can use the sheet/towel to shift the penis aside so it doesn’t become any problem in regards to what muscles can be treated and massaged.
I can’t imagine any professional massage therapist become angry over an erection. It is one of the most common reactions when males relax and we know this.
And yes, I gain insight and knowledge through these discussions as well. I must admit my massage training didn’t include ejaculations, nor did I know they were possible before I received the first inquiry through my blog. Now I know how things work and what the causes are and can advice my clients about their doubts if it happens, and I know how to react so it becomes a good experience for the client.
All the best,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 17 April, 2009, 15:57Hi Pia
Do you know any thing about naturist massages are they genuine or some thing to stat clear of
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 3 May, 2009, 07:35Hi Anonymous,
I don’t know much about the naturist massages. Based on the job-ads I’ve seen here, it seems that the word naturist is used as a cover up for sexual massages and sex-work. Esp. since they always require young good looking women to massage etc.
Be aware that most massage therapist organisations wouldn’t allow naturist massage at all. The FFMBE has a dress code for the therapists, and I can’t imagine any massage therapist organisation in the US allowing naturist massage.
I fear you might have difficulties finding a good massage therapist doing naturist massage. I suggest you contact the naturist resorts (hotels, beaches etc) of good reputations and hear their recommendations.
Posted by Pia | Sunday 3 May, 2009, 07:43Dear Ms Poulson
I have contacted you before and all ways know that your comments are good. I have been going for a massage to the same therapist now for my be 10 or 12 treatments we have got to know each other well and I am happy being naked for the massage I mostly get an erection when she starts massaging my inner leg but just recently when I was there her hand came in contact with my privates more that ones and they some times stopped there for may be half a min do you think it is because she knows me well now and is not bothered about touching me there now. and should I say some thing to her or not it was only when she was doing my inside leg and tummy
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 10 May, 2009, 10:03Dear Anonymous,
No professional massage therapist would ever touch your privates. Period.
That said, a brief brush might happen rarely, but a touch of your genitals is not part of massage therapy. There is no therapeutic reason for her to touch your privates. She is not providing an erotic massage I would hope. What you describe is not a professional massage and all massage schools discourages anything of the sort, even if it’s just what might be perceived the wrong way.
I would suggest that you talk to her and inquire her why she is touching your genitals. It’s not proper, nor necessary for a massage. If she’s interested in building a private relationship with you, then I must stress such should happen off the table and outside of any situation related to the massage. It might also be beneficial in that case to find another therapist.
Confront her and if necessary, find another therapist.
I hope this is of help to you.
Good luck.
Pia
Posted by Pia | Sunday 10 May, 2009, 15:28Thank you Pia
I have been back to her today and asked her the reason that she kepted touching my private parts and she said that she needed to massage all my legs because i had got water retention and my privates was stopping her from doing my inside leg and groin area so she just pulled them to one side untill she had finished and she apoligized and said she will not touch me there again
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 1 June, 2009, 18:29Dear Anon,
Your private parts can indeed be in the way of massaging all parts of the leg. I would have expected any professional to ask permission to shift your genitals aside, or ask you to do it, and explain what is going on, instead of just doing it.
There are draping techniques which address this problem, and this way the therapist never gets to touch the genitals as it's the towel or sheet which is in contact.
I'm glad to hear though that you spoke to your therapist about it and got things cleared and put in place.
Cheers
Pia
Posted by Pia | Wednesday 8 July, 2009, 07:08Hello Pia
Have just been reading your posts, its good to have a massage therapist to ask questions dealing with this issue. A problem i have, well im not sure if its a problem. But a couple of months ago i was having a massage and when the therapist moved the drape and started massaging my butt i became very aroused. She told me to relax but i was so aroused i just ejaculated on the table. She didnt say anything but do you think she noticed since she told me to relax? Afterwards i felt guilty but then i realized i felt really good and relieved. So since then i have had a few massages with the same lady and also one of her colleagues and i make sure each time i ejaculate since it makes the whole massage experience feel better and i feel a lot better after the massage. Do you think this is ok? Also im not sure if they notice or not. I have read previous comments and it seems this isnt very common, im wondering though if you have experienced it in your career? Thank You.
Posted by Warren | Thursday 9 July, 2009, 00:34Dear Warren,
I've not personally experienced involuntarily ejaculation from my male clients. I know though that as a therapist I would become concerned and feel uncomfortable if my client ejaculated every time I gave him a massage.
The distinction between sexual pleasure and non-sexual pleasure can be very fine and we as therapists are working very hard to de-sexualize massage. If I had a client who ejaculated every time and he didn't seem to relax and just receive the massage, I would worry that the massage had gotten sexual, which isn't the intention of professional massage therapy at all.
While an orgasm can be very releasing and relaxing, it is a different type of relaxation than meditation and massage brings. It often drains of energy instead of energize you, whereas a good massage will leave you feel deeply relaxed, but also energized.
I would strongly suggest that you separate the sexual relaxation from the relaxation massage gives. You risk that your therapist becomes stressed and uncomfortable massaging you as she won't be able to know why you ejaculate during massages.
I think it could prove very beneficial for you if you could teach yourself to fully relax and let go while receiving the massage, without needing the orgasm to receive the same deep relaxation. It is fully possible to feel just as relaxed, and even more relaxed, from a massage alone than an orgasm will.
I hope this helps you and you'll take it under consideration. If nothing else, then for the comfort of your massage therapist. These things are very boundary pushing and can so easily be misunderstood.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Thursday 3 September, 2009, 07:25Hi Pia,
I have regular massages and prefer to be nude,no draping-in fact like to be nude whenever I can! My therapist is fine with this. I occasionally get an erection but usually don't because I think I'm just so used to being nude with her as well as being relaxed. It's good to hear from another therapist like you though who is not offended when a man gets erect-by the way I have never ejaculated, it just eventually subsides. I usually say “oops” and we have a laugh over it. The first time it happened I was uncomfortable . s
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 4 October, 2009, 05:39Whengoing to a new therapist , what in your opinion is the best way to ask if she is o.k. with you being nude with no covers?
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 4 October, 2009, 20:08I think your advice is great and helping many males understand. After many years of this not happening it started. The reaction from different therapists has ranged from a non verbal horror on their fact to relax its normal. I am becoming more aware of energy release and have had what mini spasm. Once with just a Cranial Sacral touch on my back. I experience a dry whole body like orgasm. What is your experience with energy release?
Posted by energy concious | Tuesday 20 October, 2009, 06:43Dear Anonymous,
I agree that the more comfortable you are about your nudity and the less you associate nudity with sexuality, the less risks there are for erections. Nudity is seen as sexual by most people, so we need to step carefully when breaching the topic.
As for asking a new therapist, why not just ask directly and openly if she provides an un-draped massage as it gives a better flow to the massage. If she says no, then just leave it be and don't push the topic any further. For many, a level of trust needs to be established before nudity can be accepted in a massage, so give it time and see what happens. After some sessions with the new therapist, you can openly discuss it with her as part of the discussion about your massage talk.
Dear energy conscious,
As a therapist, especially a female, we can be rather vulnerable during a massage session. We're the only person in the room with the client and I thing we've all imagined horror stories of what can happen if a male client suddenly decides to follow his lusts. This is why trust is so essential between client and therapist. We of course also have people who're plain scared of sexuality and can't see it as a natural part of our lives due to different reasons; religion, upbringing or even assaults and rapes.
I personally don't have any experiences with energy releases the way you describe it. An orgasm is an energy release, though focused on our more primal instincts and lower chakras. Tantra has the purpose of moving the energy release from the lower chakras to become a purely spiritual experience. The satisfaction and experience should be even better than what we normally receive from an orgasm.
I do believe that a massage, and other bodywork, can create energy releases. If I were you I'd consider myself fortunate and explore and study the subject. Try to learn as much as possible and discover what precisely is happening and how you can use it to grow as a person and reach your highest potential.
Good luck.
Posted by Pia | Monday 26 October, 2009, 10:40Dear Pia,
Thanks for the amazing blog, very rare therapists are so open to discuss all topics, embarrassing or not. I have recently been going to massages every week, though expensive, i have seen a significant increase in my general wellness. I have also experienced similar problems regarding erection and also involuntary ejaculation. When i was on my back (genitals draped), my inner thighs were being massaged, in 2 different instances i ejaculated all of the sudden without warning. Which was very strange given the non-sexual nature of the massage, i noticed the same exact spot when pressure was applied to it triggered this event. In both instances it was ignored by the therapist and she continued her work, i am unsure if she noticed it or not. Are there certain trigger points that may cause ejaculation ?
Based on my research it seems to be happening alot, but when you generally ask therapists they deny of any involuntary ejaculation, is it because its a very sensitive issue/topic so alot of therapists might not be talking about it?
Thanks and keep up the great work!
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 1 November, 2009, 08:23Dear Pia,
You are not only beautiful, but your blog is amazing, it has really educated me alot massage and wellness as i used to avoid it previously in general. Thank you for opening my mind!
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 1 November, 2009, 17:47In regard to energy release. I lost the link but found your response finally. You actually understood and answered the question. Thank you! Reading your blog is a very real experience. Nudity during massage removes barriers. Sorting these sexual vs sensual vs life force feelings is a challenge. The ability to ask a question and get a real response is instrumental in such a journey of searching for answers. I believe most true massage healers are in tune with energy they touch. I understand that this is not sexual but feeling of life force is similar. The therapist that allowed the root chakra release always covers me. A second therapist I go to allows uncovered but I am very twitchy when the energy flows. This therapist allows me to touch myself, I am working at not to doing this. She does not encourage it but will not tell me to stop. My question is: Can a therapist totally remove themselves and ignore the reality without disconnecting from the moment. I do not wish to cause her to be uncomfortable but the feeling is intense. She claims its all about me and I should honor the feelings as it does not bother her. I am always in search of answers. I honor your opinion as it is not close minded.
Thanks for sharing your heart.
D
Posted by Anonymous | Friday 6 November, 2009, 21:01Dear Anonymous,
I don't know if there's exactly trigger points which can cause ejaculation. But it is very well known that we have many sensitive and erogenous zones. Most of us don't think about it much and just go for the classics like the genital area, bust, butt etc. Most people don't even realize that their toes or knee or under-arm can be an erogenous zone.
So my guess is that your therapist found a spot that's highly erogenous for you and that's why such an intense reaction happens.
Another thing to consider is that there can be some nerve connection. Who hasn't tried to feel a nerve twitch in their leg when they pressed a point on the shoulder. If those twitches are intense, I suspect there might be some nerve that's being squeezed or some sort of imbalance at least. Creating a proper bodily balance might reduce the reactions from nerves. Chraniosacral therapy could be a thing to try here.
As for why most therapists haven't heard about it, yes I think you're right. It's a very sensitive topic to discuss. Due to general ignorance, I can easily imagine a therapist wondering if she did something wrong to make it happen, even if she did nothing wrong at all. There's of course also the general scare of anything sexual (and an ejaculation has to be that people think), so can the therapist be misunderstood if she shares how a client got an ejaculation during a treatment?
I think ejaculation isn't very common, not compared to erection at least and that happens in my experience for about 50% of all new male clients. So many haven't experienced it first hand, and those who have, won't talk much about it. Let's hope the discussion can become more open.
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 10 November, 2009, 09:01Dear Anon,
Thank you for your words. I'm happy that my blog has helped you see how great and wonderful massage can be. Please don't hesitate to ask any question you might have and feel free to bring up further topics for articles which can aid you in your journey towards wellness.
Cheers!
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 10 November, 2009, 09:02Dear D,
It's tricky questions you ask and not an area I'm an expert within. Energies and what happens during a massage or bodywork session is very interesting, and I have seen first hand how powerful these things can be.
When I give a massage, I tune into the client. A silent communication begins between us, with energy exchanges and messages. My intuition takes over when it comes to knowing where an area needs to be massaged, if a session is becoming too intense and so on.
I tune into the client, but she also tunes into me. I pick up how she feels and she picks up how I feel. That is why it's so important that the therapist has the right intent when starting a session, and that the therapist leaves behind all personal issues. I'd go as far as to say that if a therapist has a really bad day or feel depressed, she shouldn't give a massage.
We are all human and far from perfect. I think that only a very few therapists can completely remove themselves from a situation and not allow any personal emotion to come through and not pick up anything from the client. We aim to become a channel of healing energy from a higher force (by whatever name you give it). To let the healing flow through us into the client and let that same flow carry away the client's issues.
It sounds like the intentions of your therapist are good and right. She wants you to heal and wants to help you. She will be picking up on your sensual energies and will likely feel some reaction to it, though which she only knows.
As for touching yourself, I'd advice against it. Both for the obvious reason of maintaining boundaries between therapy and sexual release, avoiding uncomfortable situations for both you and the entire matter of ethics.
But mostly from an energy point of view. In my experience, an orgasm/release of energy through sexual means, wastes the energy. The flow can start at the extremes, crawl through your body and upward, but it gets stuck around 2nd chakra and the release stops it from going anywhere further. It remains a basic low-vibrating energy, which doesn't sound like what you're trying to achieve at all.
Were I you, I'd try to focus on opening the chakra completely, receive all the energy, observe it and then aim to move it upward, to increase the vibration and transform it into 3rd chakra energy. You can use visualization for instance. See the red/orange energy become brighter, turn yellow or even green or blue. See how it goes through the spectrum and becomes higher and higher.
I personally think this is why many monks live in celibacy. They aim to transform their primal sexual energies into something higher and more spiritual. This is the same reason you find monks not eating meat as that's a low energy vibration, whereas vegetables and fruits have a high vibration.
When all comes to all, it's about what your intent and want you want to achieve. I strongly believe in “everything with moderation” and avoiding extremes (like no sex at all to achieve enlightenment).
I hope this helps.
Pia
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 10 November, 2009, 09:22Hi Pia,
I want to thank you for your good advice. When I booked my last appt. I asked the therapist who I had gone to twice previously if she would be comfortable with me being nude and undraped.I book by e-mail . She responded that she had no problem with it. My last appt. was probably one of the best massages I have ever had! It probably helps that we are comfortable with each other. She seemed more comfortable even herself moving from one area to the next. She massaged my glutes ,which you have mentioned contain many muscles, much more thoroughly than when draped. I have normally been massaged laying on my stomach first; she began with me on my back massaging feet to my head. In any event I thoroughly enjoyed it and was never more relaxed.
Posted by Anonymous | Wednesday 11 November, 2009, 03:11Dear Anonymous,
You're most welcome. I'm only happy to help. It's really great to hear that your last appointment was one of the best massages you have ever had.
Open and honest communication is so important, especially where trust is so essential. It's great that you took the step and asked the question.
Good luck and enjoyment in your massage journey.
Pia
Posted by Pia | Thursday 12 November, 2009, 09:12All of these comments are great! I have learned alot from them! I just got my first massage today and I was completely naked under a sheet(I was comfortable). I became very aroused when she started massaging my inner thighs. I was nervous because I didn't know how it would be viewed. I ignored it and tried to relax. A few times her hands brushed up against my penis, but acted like she never noticed. She was very professional afterwards, acting like nothing happened. Good to know I am not alone. I am comfortable naked in front of people. How would I go about telling her I am comfortable without the sheet?(if that is allowed at the massage parlor)
Posted by Anonymous | Saturday 14 November, 2009, 21:12Dear Anonymous,
Congratulations on receiving your first massage. I'm happy to hear the comments have been useful to you.
You do not mention where in the world you're located. In the US there's law-regulations about draping and nudity, so in most places it wouldn't be legal to be nude and un-draped during a massage.
A word of caution as well. When you say massage parlor, people will think a place for sexual massage. It is often the expression used by the sex-workers and that business. Massage clinic, spa and so on would be better expressions to use if you want to be certain to avoid misunderstandings.
One way to bring up the draping during massage could be to ask into the local laws where you live and take the discussion from there.
Good luck, and welcome to the world of massages.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Sunday 15 November, 2009, 09:35Thank you for the advise! I really appreciate it. I live in Idaho and have been looking for a law requiring draping but I can't any sources. Can you help?
Thanks
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 15 November, 2009, 22:02Dear Anonymous,
I don't know the precise rules for the different states in the USA as I live in France at the moment.
I would suggest you contact either one of the local colleges offering massage therapy education and ask, or ask one of the massage therapy organisations. They'll certainly know what rules and regulations are locally and nationally.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massage_therapist_organizations#In_the_USA is the Wikipedia page listing them. A quick search on the web should give you contact information.
From a quick search myself there doesn't seem to be any state regulations or certifications in Idaho. I do not know though if draping might be a national requirement to distinguish massage therapy from prostitution. It's possible. I'm certain one of the organisations, or a local massage therapy school can help there.
Feel free to share your discoveries.
Cheers
Pia
Posted by Pia | Monday 16 November, 2009, 13:21Dear Pia
First thank you for all your coments. I have been having a massage from the same lady for years now I go naked no towel. Over the years she as got to massage more of me than she did when I first started with her she massages my in side leg tummy and groin and her hand very often contects my genitals I do not feel there is any thing wrong with this being as I have been going to her so long. What do you think
Posted by Anonymous | Saturday 21 November, 2009, 22:00Dear Anonymous,
You do not mention what sort of contact we're talking about. Accidents do happen. If you're focused on massaging an area and caught up in the flow, contact can happen moving forth and back. The more comfortable and familiar a therapist is with a client, the less worry she has about the accidental contact and thinks less about it, which can make it happen more often as she focuses on the massage. It happens to all massage therapists I'm sure, even with sheets and towel.
That you pose the question if it's appropriate or not, makes me wonder if you do feel completely comfortable with the situation and the massage. It'll be in your interest to look into yourself and really feel if you're fully comfortable with it or not. Do you have any suspicions? How do you feel intent is? Would the massage be better without and so on. The answers you find will tell you if there's anything wrong or not.
If you're not fully comfortable and you feel it's wrong, then it's something you should take up with your therapist. Just mention that it distracts your relaxation and jolts you a bit every time it happens (if that's the case or you're uncomfortable about telling that it makes you uncomfortable), and just ask her to pay a bit more attention so you can enjoy the massage better.
I hope this helps. It's most likely an accident and nothing she even thinks about afterwards, but the essential is how you feel about it all.
Cheers
Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 4 December, 2009, 11:17Hi Pia
I am the one that contacted you on the 24/11/09
You menioned that I may not be comfortable with what the therapist is doing but I am very comfortable I feel very relaxed with her even when one of her hands rests on my private parts holding them clear of my groin and her other hand is massaging my groin. She as not always done this but over the years that I have been seening her it as just gone a little bit more that way. I am 68 years old my wife past away 10 years ago and I do not get hard very often
Posted by Anonymous | Saturday 5 December, 2009, 17:02Dear Anonymous,
The only reason I brought up the question about being comfortable is because you raised the question if there was anything wrong in how your therapist does her massage.
If both of you are fully comfortable and at ease with the massage, then there's nothing wrong at all. All too often I hear of situations where a massage became less because of modesty or wrongly perceived actions. You have people who never had their stomach, pectoralis major or buttocks massaged.
Stomach massage can release a lot of old tied up emotions, it aids digestion and helps with body posture.
Massage of the pectoralis major is essential for people suffering from computer related pains, especially in neck, shoulders and back.
The buttocks contain a large muscle group which connects the back with the legs. Massage here helps with posture, back pains and much more.
It is really a shame when people deny themselves the opportunity to receive massage on these areas, both for treating specific injuries and pains, but also for overall wellness.
Unfortunately a large part of society associates massaging these areas with sexual/sensual actions. This is why trust and clear communication is so important.
It is wonderful to hear that you have that deep trust and good communication with your therapist. I only wish more people will experience this.
Posted by Pia | Monday 4 January, 2010, 08:43Hi Pia,
Is there something as massage addiction? Can going to for a massage on weekly basis harm your body on the long run ? Does your body get too used to it where you get crams if you don't go for one anymore.
Because i heard of this problem before, was wondering if its true.
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 7 January, 2010, 12:00Hi Pia,
I am sorry if we bother you with so many questions, especially alot of them are very “private”. but i am glad you have no problems answering them.
Alot of us , especially men experience all sort of things from massage, i would say 90% of us don't go for sexual pleasures, but we discover that our body reacts in strange ways. Like for example Ejaculation / Erection, such things usually happen when sex is involved, but from my own experience even very honest people go through this and are embarrased.
I want to know what is the general view from a professional masseuse point of view, about erections and ejaculations ? Are they usually frowned upon ? DO they feel offended if an erection occurs alot, or if the person ejaculates even if his genitals were not touched. Or do they all understand that its part of a natural energy release process.
Thanks and keep it up
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 7 January, 2010, 12:20Dear Anonymous,
Re massage addiction:
I haven't heard that too many massages should cause any harm. I'm inquiring with my network if there is anything to it and will return to you once I have an answer.
Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 8 January, 2010, 08:36Dear Anonymous,
There is never anything like too many questions. It is much better to ask them openly and receive answers than mull over them and jump to the wrong conclusions. So please don't hesitate, and ask away.
Yes, I too believe that for most men the reactions of their body is involuntarily and something they would avoid if they could. And it is my belief that because it's such a taboo and is not spoken about, embarrassment is so strong.
I would claim, without knowing every single therapist out there, that the great majority knows that an erection is utterly normal and can happen. At my massage school we were warned about erections and told that they're completely natural and just happens outside of control and sexual thoughts.
Ejaculations I think are much more rare, or at least not spoken about. It wasn't mentioned in my school, nor have I experienced any client ejaculate. The first time I heard about ejaculation during a massage was when I was asked the question here. Asking around in my professional network, most hadn't heard of it before, but a few had experienced it as a natural energy release.
How ejaculation is perceived by the therapist will depend a lot on the relationship between the client and therapist. How the client behaves and presents himself in general, how he reacts during and after the massage, what type of massage he is receiving and so on.
It of course also depends on how comfortable and experienced the therapist is, as well as what personal history there might be. Has she/he had bad experiences in that regard in the past, suspicion will naturally occur. Human relationships, be it personal or professional, can be so utterly complicated because of the lack of communication and basic trust.
There will naturally be therapists who do not understand what is happening and think there are ulterior motives behind an erection or ejaculation.
I can't imagine any therapist frowning upon an erection unless there are suspicions about sexual motives lying behind it. As I've mentioned earlier, open communication can clarify what confusion and misunderstanding there might be.
I hope the above answered your questions. If you need clarification or have new inquiries, please feel free to post them.
Cheers
Pia!
Posted by Pia | Friday 8 January, 2010, 08:57Thanks for the insight Pia,
To avoid an erection, do you think it is best to masturbate before going to the therapist? The last time I went to my therapist, I had an erection (I get all massages from her undraped) and she put some message oil on my hand. She told me that although it is improper for her to do this, that the massage would be more beneficial if I dealt with my erection first. I masturbated and ejaculated while she did some paperwork at her desk in the room, then she continued the massage. (I have been going to her for about 5 years and got erections about a dozen times) Afterwards, she told me she only told me to do this becuase I have been going to her for so long and that she knows that there is nothing sexual between us (she is fairly older than me and not very attractive).
Posted by Anonymous | Friday 8 January, 2010, 21:31Dear Anonymous,
What your therapist did is rather unusual and does blur the borders between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. It makes me think that the erection became a problem for her (or she thinking it was for you) since she took such a step.
In this case, it might be an idea to masturbate before going to the therapist, though in reality that is not really any guarantee that an erection won't happen.
When we go to a massage therapist it's our responsibility to prepare ourselves so we can just let go, relax and receive the treatment. What's needed will be different for various people. There are women who think they have to shave before going, otherwise they can't fully relax as they concern themselves with how they look. Where an erection might cause a concern with males, masturbation can be a solution. Just make sure it's done at home and away from the clinic/spa so the two doesn't become associated with sexual pleasures.
Cheers
Pia
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 12 January, 2010, 07:39Hi Pia
Do you think it would be better if the therapist did not massage the inside leg tummy buttocks and groin of all there male clients. This could stop any erection from coming up.
Or is massaging that part of the body beneficial
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 12 January, 2010, 09:26Dear Anonymous,
There are many benefits to massaging those areas you mention. I have described stomach massage in a previous article: http://www.starkeys.com/blog/2008/08/why-massage-stomach.html and I have plans to write about the benefits of pectoralis (chest) and buttock massage, of which there are many.
Even in the groin area, especially around the hips, there are many deeper lying muscles which can greatly benefit from massage. It all depends on your conditions and issues.
For a general massage, inner thighs, buttocks, stomach and chest should be covered to gain the most from a massage. It does come down to the clients and their needs and the therapist will evaluate each case individually.
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 12 January, 2010, 10:03Hi AGAIN Pia
I have a massage every 4 or 5 weeks and the therapist all ways massages inner thighs, buttocks, stomach and groin area and I all ways get an erection when she massages these parts that is the reason I asked if it was beneficial. I am not at all embarrassed and I do not think she is when it comes up but some men could be.
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 12 January, 2010, 10:46Dear Anonymous,
Yes, when either therapist or client feel uncomfortable about the erection and it becomes a problem with the massage, then it will often be better to avoid massaging those areas.
There are times though where it's a necessary part of treatment, depending on the conditions of the client.
It sounds like you receive a regular 'maintenance' massage and as you're both comfortable about the situation and reactions it's great. It helps your overall wellness.
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 12 January, 2010, 10:56Just one more question Pia
IF a female went to a male therapist would she take her undwear off and would he massage her tummy groin and buttocks. Then what about her breasts are they a sexual part of the body and not done?
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 12 January, 2010, 13:41Ideally, there should be no difference between massages of women and men, and by massages from women and men. Unfortunately, reality isn't always like that.
You can massage the muscles lying underneath the breasts without massaging the breast itself. It requires trust between therapist and client of course, and there might be a few technical limitations that you won't find with men to the same degree. But in essence, the muscle can be massaged equally between the genders.
When I receive massages from male therapists, I go completely nude and receive massage also on the buttocks and stomach. Groin and chest requires a bit more technical knowledge and usually doesn't happen when I just go for a relaxation massage.
So, in an ideal world (which we of course know doesn't exist), a woman would be just as nude with a male therapist as with a female, and the same areas be massaged as the male would. As there are many stigmas in our societies especially when it comes to touch and sexuality, reality is not that often ideal.
C'est la vie, as they say here in France.
I hope that helps.
Cheers
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 12 January, 2010, 19:40Thank you Pia for your coments
I had a massage this afternoon and I told my therapist about this blog and she is going to take a look. I asked her if she ever had a massage from a male therapist and she said she did and she said she took every thing off but when she first started going to him he put a towel over her private area but over the last mounth or so he as not used it. She said he did not do her groin but he did do her tummy and under her breasts
Posted by Anonymous | Wednesday 13 January, 2010, 19:25Here in the usa the rules are generally set by the American Massage Association. They are so strict that no exposure of any kind is allowed. You have to be covered and you can't even work around the genitals. Of course that rule cannot be followed in Medical Massage. I have been with the same therapist for 8 years and I now am not covered. She performs energy work and that does open up a males chakra.
Posted by Anonymous | Wednesday 13 January, 2010, 20:40Actually most men who do ejaculate during massage therapy do so when on their stomache. It has happened to me a few times. I have been getting massage for medical reasons for almost 20 years. Doesn't happen often but it does happen. If a client has a problem like this you could consider a condom to avoid the mess if both are comfortable with it.
Posted by Anonymous | Wednesday 13 January, 2010, 20:45If I were a massage therapist I would recommend being a little careful with an attractive woman being completely uncovered because men tend to be more affected seeing a naked woman than women have seeing a naked man. It is natural to feel these kinds of things. I guess it all amounts to a person's maturity. Most of the male's reproductive organs are external. It is hard not seeing something that is so visible.
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 14 January, 2010, 01:45This blog is really interesting. I have regular Lomi Lomi massages witha lady who is comfortable with me undraped. I feel I can relax more and benefit 100% from a superb massage which I wouldn't get if I had coverings or were worried about something being exposed. She sees me naked as I undress and get on the table so what is the difference. By being completely uncovered she can work from one end to the other in one flow. I am not ashamed of my body and am sure she is not staring at my penis or buttocks. She is absolutely professional and I feel confident and comfortable at all times. I have never had an erection, even when she massages thighs, buttocks and lower abdomen. I think this is because my body feels it would be inappropriate – I would admit that after the release of all that stress and tension and that sinking into absolute relaxation; on the way home I do start to feel aroused and often masturbate when I get home – not thinking about the massage but just because I feel so good – and I am 56.
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 18 January, 2010, 17:34Dear all,
Thank you so much for all your comments. It's wonderful to hear your thoughts and experiences and I greatly appreciate it.
In the US there are laws regarding draping, laws originally made to distinguish massage therapy from sex-work. As a result, both therapists and clients are now too aware and focused on the draping and the accidental exposure of private parts and suspicion of sexual innuendos arise. So in many cases, when an American massage therapist agrees to undraped massage, he or she risks her license to practice massage therapy. This is another big reason why trust is so important. Perhaps with the right lobbying, the law-makers can be convinced that draping is no longer necessary to separate sex-work from massage therapy.
In regards to an attractive client, once a therapist is experienced enough, our view of the body changes completely. While I can enjoy massaging an attractive person for the beauty of it, the sexual aspect has completely disappeared. Compared it to how nudists no longer find nudity arousing, whereas others less used to nudity will find it so. While a male massage therapist might find a female client attractive, experience and exposure should have removed most sexual association with the situation and it might just become a passing thought. In which there's nothing wrong. The intent of the massage is the most important.
Relaxation often allow us to feel our body more keenly, including our desires and arousals. Men are aroused and have sexual thoughts many times a day, and so do women. But in most cases we're too occupied by other things to even pay attention to the signals our body send us. After deeply relaxing bodywork, we're brought into tune with our body and are aware of it's signals significantly. This is why many will notice an arousal afterwards, because we're actually listening to what our body tells us.
Re the use of condoms during a massage. I personally wouldn't think it a good idea as it places focus on the erection and possible ejaculation. If most cases of ejaculation happens while the client is lying on his stomach, asking for a towel to cover the wet spot ought to be enough. The sheets are washed between each massage as it is, so it's not much of an inconvenience.
All the best,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 19 January, 2010, 09:09Hi Pia
I am in England and I to have Lomi undraped. I agree that it aids the flow of the massage. I am confident in my body (older, also, so not too pretty) and in the professionalism of my therapists both male and female. I think the Americans have a long term hang-up about the human body which is why they strip prisoners naked. A full body Lomi massage is NOT a sexual act but takes one to the very deepest relaxation and contentment where you can feel and communicate with every part of your body. Erection sometimes occurs to varying degrees, especially with thigh, stomach and buttock massage, my therapists say it is no problem but gets in the way sometimes (though it doesn't last long) – it is not sexual but a normal response to deep relaxation and touch: it is far less 'obvious' undraped than with a flimsy draping which exagerates the erection.
It is great to read your comments, Pia, from someone who obviously understands not only the benefit and effects of a proper massage but also the natural physiological reactions of the body which are normal and not indecent or obscene. To me, my therapists are just like doctors, I put my body in their hands; they treat it with care and respect and I feel no need to be embarrassed or ashamed of my body in their presence. Respect and dignity does not need to have umpteen towels draped around it.
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 19 January, 2010, 21:38Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your comments and thoughts. It's wonderful to hear how others realize and experience how much better massage can become when they're undraped. I agree that with Lomi-Lomi, nudity is a must. It's a style which aims at unifying the body, have a flow that's like the waves of the ocean and as water can be, can be very sensual without even a hint of sexuality in it.
I hope that with time, everybody will feel and think the way as you do when it comes to massage and bodywork. It's beautiful.
Cheers
Pia
Posted by Pia | Wednesday 20 January, 2010, 09:32I am English and have been reading all the comments about nudity and erections during massage. I am approaching middle age and when I was at school we all changed and showered together and thought nothing of it. Whilst, I think, in England we are very prudish in comparison to our European neighbours we are nothing like the Americans. I could not invisage having a proper massage draped up with piles of towels or with half my clothes on. A massage is a massage and you need to be naked and free (and relaxed). I would suggest that if someone has a problem with their body they avoid such activities.
People with obsessions about erections are the people most likely to get them and I agree with the person who says that massage therapists are like doctors you 'surrender your body to them'.
I always have naked undraped massage and have never felt uncomfortable. If the therapist is not happy with it then I would go elsewhere because it is the 'customer' who must be happy. All my therapists, in England, have, as a previous poster stated, treated me with respect and dignity. Being naked on a massage table does not remove your dignity – any loss of dignity is purely psychological.
I have male and female therapists and just consider them therapists; I have nothing they have not seen before, and I don't believe they are interested in 'looking'; it seems to me that they do their job mainly by touch.
Oh the poor people who have never had a Lomi Lomi naked and undraped with the sweeping flow of the hands and oil over the whole body; sinking into a deep relaxed state, shoulders relaxed, stomach relaxed; mind drifting into that area of no thought. It is difficult to tell how many hands there are or where they are. Apparently, during my last massage I was snoring loudly – that is the level of confidence and trust I have in my therapists.
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 25 January, 2010, 23:36Dear Anonymous,
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences from England. It's great to hear about things from people all over the world. I'm happy for you that you've had so many great experiences with massage and are completely comfortable with your own body and receiving touch. It's great!
I would like to defend the US a bit and say that you don't get a massage with “piles of towels or half my clothes on”. The norm is one big towel that's folded to expose the relevant body-part which is being massaged, or two towels, one for chest area and one for groin. Wearing of clothes would usually only be knickers.
While falling asleep is a huge sign of trust and very touching, it's not always the best thing that can happen. By being aware of each touch and gesture, you achieve a better sense of your body and can give feedback if there are areas which are sore. A great meditative experience can be to solely focus on where you're being massaged and truly sense and feel how your body reacts and how the muscle relaxes and normalizes.
Other times, a massage can be like catching a nap. Of total relaxation and comfort, where drifting off serves to help you relax even more. It really depends on what you wish to achieve with the massage, and what the intent is.
Cheers!
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 26 January, 2010, 10:27Hi Pai
I emailed you two days ago thank you for your reply. I told you about when I go for a massage well I thought you could be interested my wife all so as a massage every 4 or 5 weeks. In one of your articles you said that Lady's all so get turned on well my wife says she takes all her clothing off for her massage and her therapist puts a small towel just over her genitalia but do;s the back with out any towel. When he massages he front he massages her inside leg and his hand go,s under the towel and dose not stop until it touches her private area she is waxed down there so he would not know until his hand touched her there he all so massages her abdomen and groin she says it all ways feels very pleasant and it makes her juice's run. He all so massages most of her breast just leaving out her nipples. It turns her on but she says she do;s not think of it as a sexual massage
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 2 March, 2010, 10:03Hi Pia,
This has helped me so much. I am 58 years old and I just started getting massages because my back goes out often. The massage helps it so much and it also feels so much better than a chiropractic adjustment. But I do get an erection and thought she thinks I want her and I don't but the whole experience just feels so good because I relax so much. I think now I can just let it happen and enjoy what she does to my body knowing others have had this happen to them also. Maybe I won't have an erection now that I know I don't have to worry about her thoughts. Wow freedom and I can even shed the drape…it is always so hot when it is on me. Thank you for your help!
Posted by Anonymous | Friday 23 April, 2010, 21:43Dear Anonymous,
I'm happy to hear about your experiences. It's great to know that one more person has discovered the wonders of massage therapy and can be comfortable about it.
The only thing I would like to remind you about in regards to the sheet is that the therapist must be comfortable about an un-draped massage as well. I don't know where you are located, but some states/countries have laws in regards to draping, and other places nudity is such an uncomfortable thing for most that it is better with a sheet, or wearing a thong during the massage.
Just ask your therapist about the drape, and also explain that you get too warm when you're all covered. It can be adjusted in ways that leaves decency (and comfort for both parties) while not keeping in too much heat.
Cheers
Pia
Posted by Pia | Monday 26 April, 2010, 19:11While in New York, I ordered an in-room massage. It was my first time. I was traveling on business and stressed beyond belief. Anyway, the massage was incredible and I was relaxed like never before. I got off the table feeling a sense of relaxation and proceeded to walk around naked. We talked and she did not seem to mind. Did I cross the line although she said nothing? She was totally legit and gave me her number and told me to call next time I was in NY. I gotta tell you, it felt great!!!
Posted by Anonymous | Friday 7 May, 2010, 04:06Dear Anonymous,
I'm happy to hear that you had such a great massage experience.
If it was crossing the line or not is hard to say. It all comes down to the persons involved and how they feel about things. In general, I would recommend err on the safe side and wear a bathrobe afterwards when with a new therapist.
Did you notice how she reacted? Did she avert her eyes and made an effort to avoid looking at you? Did she have a hard time looking you into the eyes when you spoke? Or did she just carry on normally and didn't seem to notice at all?
Those would be the clues to let you know if you crossed the line or not. Some people are very sensitive to nudity, others don't care at all. Both therapists and non-therapists.
Cheers!
Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 7 May, 2010, 10:05Hi Pia
I noticed in an earlier post (17 April 2009 17:57) you mentioned that any erections that occur during your massages usually subside after a while. When I get an erection, my foreskin automatically gets pulled back so that it exposes the glans (head) of my penis. When the erection subsides, the foreskin stays back, and I have to manually pull it forward again (and I usually do this shortly afterwards). So I was wondering: when your clients lose their erection, do they generally tend to pull their foreskin forward during the massage (and are you are ok with this?) or do they always do this after you have left the room? Sorry if you have already answered this question before, but I couldn't see it elsewhere. Thanks in advance.
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 9 May, 2010, 14:46Dear Anonymous,
It's not a matter I've noticed with those of my clients having an erection. My guess is that either it doesn't bother them, or they do the adjustment when they turn over or get of the table.
I hope this answers your question. In general, I'd suggest to do what makes you relax and feel comfortable, be it adjusting foreskin or wait doing it.
Cheers
Pia
Posted by Pia | Wednesday 12 May, 2010, 08:02A while ago I got a massage in a spa. During the massage I got an erection under the towel. I was embarrassed and at the end I quickly tried to hide it with my bathrobe. At that moment she told me that she noticed that I did get an erection during the massage. She told me that it was nothing to be ashamed of and then she went on to ask me about how I felt about it and what I thought triggered it. I must say that ever since that conversation I lost my fear of getting erections. I am glad she didn't just 'ignore'.
Posted by Jeroen | Wednesday 26 May, 2010, 13:56Dear Jeroen,
I'm happy to hear about your experiences.
When to speak up and when not to is a very delicate balance to find. In some cases, like yours, the reassurance is welcomed, other times people prefer to pretend it never happened.
I wrote this post and opened the discussion, as it's so difficult to speak about face to face for many people.
You are right that speaking openly about these topics and taboos is the best solution. Writing and anonymous posts only come in second, but is easier for many people.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Sunday 6 June, 2010, 09:58Pia,
I would not have believed that I could reach the age of 60 and not know this, but I did and maybe I can clear some confusion. I suspect that what some of the men report as ejaculating is actually something else. Prior to ejaculation, sometimes the penis discharges a bit of a very slippery fluid called “pre-ejaculate” which is produced by the Cowper's gland. This happens to me sometimes when getting a massage, sometimes not. It is not necessary to get an erection for this to occur. So far I have never had a full-blown erection during a massage and am hoping I never do, but your comments have eased my mind on that score should it happen.
True ejaculation would likely produce much more than a small wet spot on the sheet. I feel awkward when this happens, but because my MT uses a pair of flannel sheets to drape me it has never been something that I had to deal with during the massage.
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 13 June, 2010, 23:00Dear Anonymous,
I'm happy to hear that my article and the comments have eased your mind of a little worry.
Thank you for your observation and comments. Indeed I'm familiar with pre-ejaculate and did assume in my answers that the questioners were as well. Though in the case some are not aware, they are now. Thanks again.
Cheers
Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 25 June, 2010, 08:25Hi Pia,
Following up to my comment about pre-ejaculate, how many of your male clients do you notice have released some pre-ejaculate? I'm wondering if I'm unusual, since it's not something that happens in my life except when sexually aroused. On the massage table I am not thinking sexually at all, although my body is going through a very sensuous experience and I am obviously very aware of that, and some of the time I have this small wet spot afterwards. So I'm a bit confused.
Thanks again for your help and this site!
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 6 July, 2010, 14:28That's a wonderful article Pia, very enlightening and re-assuring. My question is, how do you ask a pretty young massuese that you would like to be both nude and undraped without appearing like a dirty old man? I have had one nude massage with her and the difference to my previous ones where I kept underwear on is amazing. But, she had me well draped & I felt like I missed out on the important buttock massage you mentioned, which I think would be helpful to my lower back problem. Any hints, or do I just lie there without the towell, & hope she is not too shocked when she re-enters the room?
Posted by Novice | Wednesday 7 July, 2010, 07:16Dear Anonymous,
I must admit I haven't noticed any pre-ejaculate from any of my male clients, but again, it's not something I've been looking for either, nor will I look for it. My clients often start by lying on their stomach and then turn over to the back for the last bit of the massage. So even if they left a spot, it would be long dry by the time I change sheets.
I think my example can serve to show that even if you leave a small wet spot, most massage therapists will not even notice it when they change the sheets and tidy up after the session. As you write, it's just a small spot.
I hope this brings a bit of reassurance that these things are hardly a cause for worry.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Wednesday 7 July, 2010, 08:30Dear Novice,
Thank you. I'm happy that you find my article useful and enlightening.
I wouldn't recommend asking your massage therapist on the first or second session, unless she brings it up first. Nor would I recommend just removing sheets and towels on own accord.
My recommendation is to wait until trust has been build between you and then bring up the topic of undraped massage. Do keep in mind that there can be local laws prohibiting undraped massages and most will respect the laws in order to maintain their licence.
Please do mention your lower back problems and you can ask her if the buttocks can be massaged to aid with the problem. Buttock massage can be done draped – either through the towel or by adjusting it so only the area is exposed, so nudity isn't necessary for treatment of these muscles.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Wednesday 7 July, 2010, 08:36Dear Pia
Do you think being circumsized makes any difference on whether men are more likely or less likely to get an erection during a massage (I heard there was a difference in sensitivity)? What percentage of your male clients would you say have been circumsized?
Thanks
Darren
Posted by Darren | Tuesday 20 July, 2010, 01:54Dear Darren,
As a circumcision doesn't influence your sensitivity in other parts of the body and doesn't change how your body and nerve system functions, I strongly doubt it has any influence on involuntary erections during a massage. The erections are not caused by direct contact with penis as it isn't touched at all during a massage.
On the percentage of circumcised clients, I would not know as I don't notice these things. My guess is that it's low among European men as circumcision isn't common practice in Europe, while being high among North American men and men coming from the Arabic and Middle East.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 20 July, 2010, 06:22Pia
Can I ask you a question about your training? Was this done in a classroom setting, so the teacher would demonstrate the techniques on a client in front of the students? I think you mentioned earlier that you were taught that it was natural for erections to sometimes happen. Were any of the clients nude during your training and did any of them get hard-ons during the classes? I wondered if the public setting made a difference to whether they became erect during the massage training session, since it appears to happen regularly during the private sessions. Thanks for answering.
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 22 July, 2010, 08:21Dear Anonymous,
Massage you don't learn in a class-room, you learn it by actively massaging each-other. We were some 8 therapists in one big room, with the teacher and assistant teacher. Theory was explained but the majority of the time we did hands-on practice on each-other. Only if we lacked in numbers would external “models” be our practice objects.
For theoretical things, like discussing erections, client confidentiality, anatomy, contra-indications and so on we would usually sit in a circle on the floor and talk things through.
This way of teaching was true for my Massage Créatif training and for the LaStone courses I'm attending now. By both giving and receiving during classes, you learn better and remember things more effectively.
It has the additional benefit that you know how a technique feels and can easier adjust and adapt it to suit the individual clients. You also know on your own body how a wrong technique feels and will make sure to avoid that when you give massages yourself. Finally, practising on other students gives a better feed-back as “outsiders” don't generally know what's going on and how it should feel.
As the majority of massage students were women, I don't recall seeing erections during class, or if I did, it wasn't important enough for me to recall it.
We had to do a lot of practical training on “models” between classes and before we could take our exam. These models are usually friends and people from my network, in the beginning just paying a symbolic price of appreciation.
When erections would occur, I knew the theory behind it and took it for what it is, a natural bodily reaction to touch and massage.
I hope this answers your question about how massage training takes place.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Thursday 22 July, 2010, 08:50I run a successful Massage Therapy practice and I have to say that although your article says nothing that goes against popular thought on therapeutic massage and erections with male clients, I must disagree.
Males are capable of controlling erections. A therapeutic massage is NEVER meant to bring about a sexual reaction in any client, male or female. Our practice has two policies regarding such issues: we request that all client remain in their underwear and if erections happen, even the slightest indication of such, that session is immediately ended, and the client is responsible for the entire appointment's charge.
Massage Therapists have overcome much when dealing with those who associate negative connotations with Massage Therapy. Since a therapeutic massage would never be about massaging any private areas, it is not necessary for underwear removal. The removal of bras is perfectly acceptable.
In addition to the non-necessity of underpants removal, there is the issue of the health of the therapists who work here, as well as all other clients. If a client is not wearing underwear and has herpes, hepatitis C or another type of disease that is transmitted through bodily fluid, it is possible to spread such disease through sheets that have been contaminated with those fluids. The therapist, who is not using gloves, will be at risk as he or she gathers the sheets for laundering, not to mention the touching of door handles by the next client. In hospitals and doctors' offices, where patients are occasionally undressed, there are many precautions, including the use of gloves, disposal paper table covers, special receptacles for body fluid-contaminated items and hand sanitizer.
I can guarantee you that there isn't a reputable female therapist who would enjoy seeing an erection. I believe that erections during therapeutic massage are attempts at sexualizing a situation that isn't about sex. Would that male client get an erection when being massaged by a male therapist?
We are probably unusual in policy, but each of our clients and therapists is happy, knowing that they do not have to view an erection or be put at risk for transmission of disease.
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 2 August, 2010, 21:25I have a question. I got a massage the other day on vacation in the Asia. The masage was completely profesional but during the masage I got an erection and precum and possibly sperm got on the massage bed sheets and towel. Is it somehow possible that the maasues or someone getting a maasgee after could get pregnant. I know it sounds crazy but my mind has been racing. have you ever heard of something like this happening, like a massuse mysteriously getting pregnant. Or what if the massuse somehow noticed that i ejaculated a little and tried to impregnate herself. again i know it sounds crazy but i've been wondering.
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 10 August, 2010, 06:57Dear Anonymous.
You don't need to worry about the results from your vacation in Asia.
Sheets are changed between clients for hygiene and sanitary reasons. This is done to avoid the transfer of diseases between clients, as well as it's frankly disgusting to lie on a dirty sheet from previous massages. The client should get the best treatment and if not, consider finding a new therapist who understands the importance of hygiene and sanitation.
As for the massage therapist impregnating herself, that is practically impossible unless she takes a gene-sample from you (and there a hair would be enough) and use clone-technologies to create a child. Sperm cells die pretty quickly after exiting. As soon as it's dry, they're all dead. It is not that easy to become pregnant – eg. take a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_fertilisation and study the subject further if you wish to understand the process in details.
So the short answer is. No, nobody will become pregnant from your massage experience.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 10 August, 2010, 08:14Dear Anonymous Massage Therapist,
{reply part one}
I am happy to hear you take so good care of your employees and take measures to ensure that they always feel safe and comfortable when they work at your clinic. You are a great example for many to learn from.
I would like to let you know that I am located and took my massage education in France. The French are much more relaxed in regards to nudity than the English or the Americans and it is not sexualized in the same way as in the anglophone world. Therefore, a nude massage is not generally seen as sexual, and there is no stigma connected to nude and undraped massages.
I know that things are different, especially in the US, and that there is a great stigma around nudity. This also explains part of our differences, plus I can imagine the views will vary greatly across the country.
I will respectfully disagree with several of your statements though, and try to explain why.
It is true that a therapeutic massage NEVER is meant to bring about a sexual reaction. I fully agree with this. The intention of Massage Therapy is not erotic or sexual. Period.
An important factor to keep in mind is that not all erections are sexual, just like all nipple erections are not sexual. It is true that most erections are sexual of nature, but certainly not all. As an easy example just think about how men often wake up with an erection in the morning, or both genders get hard nipples when it is cold. There are several articles on Wikipedia and elsewhere describing the physical aspects of erection and what is actually happening.
This said, in my experience and to my knowledge, men can't fully control their erections. We all have various erogenous zones, which sends that nice tingle down our spine and causes a sexual response. These areas can be many and very different, and be triggered even in completely non-sexual situations.
Sure men can try to think about their old grandpa, the dishes that needs be done or the ugly neighbour, but it's not always enough to make an erection disappear again. Nor do we want our clients to lie on the table thinking unpleasant thoughts when we try to make them relax and feel good. That would be counter productive.
It is really a shame that massage therapy -still- is associated with sex and the sex-trade. The fault is not with the massage therapists, nor with nude massages or erections during massages, but rather with the sex-workers using massage as a synonym for massage. We also have the problem of lack of education in the general population about what massage actually is.
{continued}
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 10 August, 2010, 08:57{part two}
I am not sure what you mean by private areas. If you by that terminology mean genitals and nipples, then I fully agree that massage is not about massaging those areas.(except in certain therapies like perineum re-education after giving birth)
If you by private areas mean buttocks (gluteus) and chest area (pectorals) then I have to disagree. The muscles here are very important for our posture and tensions here can cause real problems.
The buttocks can be massaged through sheet and/or underwear using certain techniques. But in others, like LaStone Therapy you need contact to the skin and oil to do the treatment.
For me personally, not having sheets or underwear to obstruct the flow of the massage creates a much better experience for my clients. I can do long flowing strokes from feet to neck without breaking contact or oiling their clothes. This is part of the holistic wellness massages I provide (as opposed to medical massages which address specific injuries).
There is also a risk of skin-related diseases and respiratory diseases in addition to diseases through bodily fluids. In reality, just meeting a client, installing them on the table and then massaging them has a risk of transmitting diseases. No matter if they're clothed or not.
The risk of transmitting diseases is always there, though there are plenty of precautions we can take as therapists.
I always wash my hands the moment before I start the massage and the moment I have ended the massage. Sheets and towels are always changed between massages and they go directly to the laundry basket.
We can never reduce the risk fully and be 100% safe from a disease a client might bring in the door. We can only reduce it by reasonable precautions that doesn't ruin the experience for the client.
You mention using gloves when collecting sheets? Do you also use gloves during the massage itself?
I don't enjoy seeing an erection in a male client. In fact, it often becomes a bit awkward as the erected member can get in the way of the areas I want to massage. It is much easier to work fluidly and get to all those attachment points and areas when the client is fully relaxed.
That said, I don't feel revolted or uncomfortable with an erection. I know that erections happens, either because the body just has a mind of its own, because the client is enjoying the touch and can't fully separate touch and sexuality, or because I've touched some erogenous zone.
I can guarantee you that I can easily tell the difference between the types of erections I encounter and I can quickly sense when a male client becomes sexually charged, even if there's no erection to show it.
Those clients, they're kindly asked to refrain from doing so, or leave. I do not provide any kind of sexual or erotic services. I have too much respect for myself to do so.
I wanted to ask my male colleagues about their experiences with erections., but they're on vacation this month. I am sure they have experienced such situations. My male massage teacher has, which is why the topic was brought up during our classes. But I want their first-hand accounts in order to provide you with a proper answer.
I hope this puts things into perspective and gives you a bit of food for thought.
Our basic opinions are the same. Massage Therapy is NOT sexual and should not be sexual. And we need to maintain good hygiene and sanitation for both our client's and our sakes.
I will come back with the experiences of my male colleagues in regards to erections when I have had a change to speak to them.
Cheers and thank you for your post, I appreciate to hear your views and thoughts.
Pia
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 10 August, 2010, 08:58Hi Pia
I noticed your comment above about massaging the perineum muscle in women. Is this only a medical procedure or something that was taught in your training? Are there any massage therapy benefits of massaging this muscle area in men, or is it simply that you don't massage it because you think it would be likely to cause the man to have an erection?
Thanks
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 12 August, 2010, 07:47Dear Anonymous,
I have no personal experience with perineum massage, nor am I qualified to give such.
The French health-system offers perineum re-education for free to all women who might need it after childbirth. It is physiotherapists who give the treatment, as the only ones qualified/allowed to do so.
For men, I wouldn't be surprised if there are physiotherapist techniques and training that includes treating the perineum in men, but again I don't have any experience or direct knowledge of such.
The physiotherapists in France are a medical profession and don't provide wellness massages or even what most would consider real massage.
I hope this helps.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Thursday 12 August, 2010, 08:04Pia – May I ask you a couple of questions please. If a client gets an erection, does this usually happen to them when they are on their back, or are they already erect when they turn over? The reason I ask is that it happens to me when I am lying on my front, and this can be uncomfortable if the massage therapist is massaging my lower back because it presses my erection against the table. So I wanted to also ask you when a clent first lies down on his front, is it normal if he adjusts himself so that his penis is pointing downwards? So if he gets an erection, it happens between his legs. Thank you for answering the questions in the blog.
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 19 August, 2010, 08:45Dear Anonymous,
It's perfectly all right to adjust what needs adjusting when you receive a massage, erection or no erection. The most important is that you feel comfortable and can relax without tensing your muscles when the therapists massages you.
Do what you feel is most comfortable, it'll vary from person to person how things should be adjusted.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Thursday 19 August, 2010, 09:02Hi Pia
I find a massage is most relaxing.
I try and have one every 3 or 4 weeks and when she massages my front I do get an erection.
It all ways it comes up when she massages my inside leg and lower tummy some times she touches it i think it is an acidental touch but I can not say for sure
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 23 August, 2010, 11:48Hi,
I'd like to know if it's normal for a man to get an arousal after being massaged (Thai Massage) by a male masseur?
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 30 August, 2010, 02:28Dear Anonymous,
I don't know how normal it is to get an arousal after a massage as it's not something I would have a chance of noticing.
As for the question of erection when massaged by a male therapist. Yes, it's completely normal that it happens.
I spoke to my male colleagues and they had both experienced clients with erections, one even a client with an involuntary ejaculation.
Keep in mind that erection is a very complex process that can be caused by many different factors, also outside of the sexual/erotic scope.
Some get erections – also women – just from relaxing completely. There are pressure points on the feet which can trigger a physiological reaction and so on.
There is nothing unnatural in erections and arousal and these things can happen outside of sexual context as a natural part of being a living being.
I hope this answers your question.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 31 August, 2010, 07:27Dear Pia,
I came across your blog via google, it seems to be the most popular massage Q&A blog out there, good job!
I wanted to thank you for your excellent reply to the Anonymous who mentioned that she/he owns a massage center, and i was personally shocked with her comments regarding “all erections are sexual and disgusting” and shows me that this person either lives in a different world, tries to employ a “non existing” set of ethical standards, or hasn't been an experienced massage therapist herself.
I personally went through massage training and achieved my certifications and license. While i don't do massage therapy right now, i practiced therapy for many years, we learnt in therapy training the erections are natural reactions, and indeed at least 70% of my clients did achieve purely non-sexual erections. The only ones with true intensions of sexual erections would attempt to advance on you in one form or the other.
Infact i have had a couple of clients who told me beforehand that they had issues when pressed on certain areas on their body, it causes them spontaneous ejaculation, so i made sure i avoided these areas for these certain clients, and i've had clients ejaculate when pressed firmly on their lower backs or other areas.
I also believe in open communication between the client and the therapist, i don't believe in forcing on boxers onto clients, covering them entirely corner to corner in heavy towel draping and employing an extremely strict environment about the least bit of skin exposure or natural body reactions such as erections, it just kills the entire point of therapeutic massages.
And again thank you for your excellent blog and replies.
Posted by Anonymous | Saturday 4 September, 2010, 09:34Dear Anonymous,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It's wonderful to meet others who understand that erections and nudity in massage is natural and non-sexual.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Saturday 4 September, 2010, 12:47When living in California I found a massage school where I could get massages every couple of weeks, I went several times. It was a different student each time. On two occasions (not my first two visits either) I ejaculated during the massage (one time it was a man and the other time a woman). I must say that I was laying on my stomach both time and was not even erect at the time. I didn't view it as sexual either. I was confused because my penis was flaccid when I ejaculated. I've always wondered if anyone else had this happen to them. I had to provide my own sheets so I don't know that anyone noticed, but since it happened once I was sure to place a washcloth under my penis the second time just in case, and I was glad I did. Has anyone else had this happen under similar circumstances? I appreciate your professionalism.
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 13 September, 2010, 05:32Anonymous – I too had the same thing happen when receiving a massage. I was laying face down and she was stretching/massaging my hamstring and I ejaculated. It was purely non sexual, and I was flaccid as well at the time. I have had it happen one other time in high school while working out with weights and doing leg lifts while laying on my stomach. Not sure what the correlation between stretching/working out my hamstrings and ejaculating are but both times I wasn't erect and dealing with my hamstrings.
Posted by Joey T. | Monday 13 September, 2010, 08:48Dear Anonymous and Joey,
Thank you for your comments. I'm happy to see how you can help each other with answers and support.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 17 September, 2010, 13:18Hello!
Thank you Pia for this blog. I am a new massage therapist and find this information very helpful. I am getting the idea that the men who are ejaculating are not having an orgasm. I believe the two can be separated and many men are not aware that they can orgasm without ejaculating and vice versa. These ejaculations seem to be triggered by nerves and not sexual. I wonder if any of the men experiencing this can comment if they are feeling an orgasm, or is the ejaculation different – especially since the penis can be flaccid.
Thank you!
Evelyn
Posted by evelyn | Sunday 26 September, 2010, 02:37It has happened to me on occasion and it is not like an orgasm – but more of a “release”. There are no sexual tendencies or thoughts – it just happens. Both erections and ejaculation can ben quite embarassing. It would be helpful is therapists were more proactive in addressing either at the beginning of receiving a new male client or when they recognize this condition has “risen”.
Thanks for this blog. I thought something was wrong with me and have been hesitant to go back for another massage.
Posted by MassageFan | Friday 2 September, 2011, 17:59Dear Evelyn,
Thank you for your comment. I'm so happy that you find the blog and comments useful. I hope other readers will answer your question quickly.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Sunday 26 September, 2010, 06:24Hi Evelyn and Pia, thanks for the responses. When it happened to me the two times, (working out and massage) they were both different. The time I was working out I did have an orgasm and ejaculated. The time during the massage that it happened I did not have an orgasm, just had the ejaculate come out which is why it really surprised me. I wasn't expecting it to happen because I didn't have an erection nor was there anything sexual about the massage. I appreciate your responses and I do agree that this is an excellent and very informative blog. Thanks Pia.
Posted by Joey T. | Thursday 30 September, 2010, 07:17Dear Joey,
Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly. I greatly appreciate it.
And yes, it is true that many people don't know that ejaculation and orgasm can be two very different things. In a way surprising that such basic things in our lives that's always been with the human race still is shrouded in such darkness.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Sunday 3 October, 2010, 17:00Hi Pia
Thank you for answering my question above about if it's ok to 'adjust' things. I was wondering if you also had a chance to consider my other question. i.e. in your experience, if a client gets an erection, does this usually happen to them when they are on their back, or are they usually already erect when they turn over? Thanks for answering.
Posted by Anonymous | Friday 8 October, 2010, 07:32Dear Anonymous,
Erections come and go during a massage. Some last just a moment, others are more persistent.
As I can't see what happens when a client lies prone I can't answer your question. The best would be to ask other massage recipients about their experiences.
Usually clients don't have an erection when they turn over, but I cannot say if is because an erection they might have had has subsided again.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 8 October, 2010, 09:36Hi Pia
I get an eretion some times when the back of my legs is being massaged her hand comes right up between my legs and her fingers do some times touch my scrotum that is the time I get one.
When I first started going to her her hand did not go so far up but as she got to know me more the more she did it
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 28 October, 2010, 04:47Whilst having a massage whilst laying face down I am always tempted to ask the massager to spank my bare behind quite vigorously.I sadly though have never had the courage fearing a negative response.What would you advise thankyou.
Posted by Anonymous | Sunday 14 November, 2010, 19:19Dear Anonymous,
I would suggest that you seek out a girlfriend or sex-worker who can fulfill your fantasies and desires. A professional massage therapist is not a sex-worker and is not interested in being placed in the same category as sex-workers.
Please ask this sort of questions in the appropriate forums. This blog is not about sexual fantasies or erotic massages.
Thank you.
Pia
Posted by Pia | Saturday 20 November, 2010, 20:23I have had over a dozen massages and have been draped each time – which has been ok. But I would prefer a nude massage. Should I ask the therapist first? Or perhaps if I was on my front (nude) when the therapist entered the room it would be less of an issue – she could cover my private parts when I turn over if she was at all uncomfortable? Thanks
Posted by Anonymous | Friday 3 December, 2010, 19:48Thanks for your honest answers to some difficult questions. I frequently get partial erections during massage. I recently experienced a full erection that was pretty obvious and very long lasting. I have been seeing the same therapist for years and I was quite embarrassed but was encouraged by your forum to talk to my therapist and she has changed her technique and stopped the problem. The question I have is on partial erections. I don't have a problem with orgasm-ejaculation, but I do have a problem leaking pre-come during massage. It's caused by getting a series of partial erections. The penis isn't really erect at all, more the difference a male would have going from a cold shower to a hot shower. The massage stimulates me a tiny, tiny bit, then I relax, then a tiny bit etc. This always causes me to leak and I would rather not have this happen. Not sure if there is anything I can do about it as it can occur and does occur at just about any point during the massage. Your thought would be appreciated.
Posted by Anonymous | Tuesday 14 December, 2010, 07:28Hello Pia,
As much as I enjoyed reading your blog post, the follow-up questions and your THOROUGH responses to each and every one of them, I'd like to share something.
I probably don't speak of all of mankind on this, but the VAST majority of the questioners here are asking questions solely for sexual excitement purposes.
It's male nature, they are at once aroused and intrigued by an attractive female like yourself who will entertain their sexual questions (fantasies), and not get shunned. I do realize some are genuine, and your responses seem to be completely honest to all of them – but most really seem to be posting for some sexual gratification.
Come on, be honest: How many of you men here nursed a semi while reading these racy questions and answers?
A LOT of males are exhibitionists by nature and get massive arousal from being almost naked or naked in front of a clothed female professional. Just thought I'd share my take.
Posted by Henry | Saturday 2 April, 2011, 07:14Dear Henry,
Thank you for your comments and thoughts.
I am curious though as to why you think discussing erections and nudity is racy? We most likely come from different cultures – I being a Dane and you Anglo-Saxon (is my guess, do correct me if I'm wrong). To me, with my cultural background, nudity is natural. To me there's nothing sexual at all in seeing a naked person. An erection can be sexual, but years of experience also teaches me that it can be completely non-sexual. The morning erection many men have is asexual. I see erection during a massage as nothing more.
That said, I am aware that some men have sexual intentions behind their questions and postings. In the cases where this is fully clear, I simply delete their posts.
In the cases where I am in doubt, I prefer to deal with the posting in a professional manner. I would rather err on the side of answering one sexual-post too many than ignoring/deleting one honest questioner.
I have received private feedback from readers who're thanking me for my open and honest answers. People who didn't dare go to a massage therapist out of fear for an erection and due to my blog now go regularly. Just one person who finds courage to receive massage therapy based on my postings more than weighs up for posts that might have a sexual fantasy behind it.
I would also like to ask why nudity during massage therapy is any different from being naked in front of a doctor or other health professional. True I provide relaxation and wellness – which most don't achieve from a doctors visit – but when it comes to professionalism and how I deal with my clients, there is no difference from visiting a doctor.
I hope this answers some of the questions you have as to why I do as I do. One genuinely helped from these questions and answers is certainly worth ten non-genuine.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Tuesday 5 April, 2011, 08:43Thank you Pia so very much for answering so many of these personal questions. I have had several of mine answered just by reading your professional responses. I am encouraged greatly from your site and comments to communicate more with my massage therapist though I feel we have communicated well and trust each other. I am in America and am annoyed by the lack of understanding about the difference between true healing touch and fear of inappropriate sexual aspects and confusion and discomfort it can cause. I lived in Europe for awhile years ago, and Scandinavians, and Germanic as well as some Eastern Europeans I knew seemed much more at ease with the human body. I wish more Americans could understand as you seem to. I have benefited from massage of my glutes and have had a history of sciatica and back pain. My massage therapist is very professional and so far has answered my questions (some the same more awkward ones as you’ve answered) openly and kindly as you do. Please keep it up. Your professionalism is an asset to your profession. Thank you!
Posted by Gene | Tuesday 24 February, 2015, 05:04Dear Mrs Poulsen,I need your opinion to help me.My wife is a massage therapist.We live in a town in Greece.Three years ago a man from India visited my wife looking for sex massage.He asked it in a very normal,polite and clear way.She told him that they do only the regular massage therapy.He said ok do what you do, I will try your way as an experience.He passed the face control,he seemed educated carrying to laptops,very clear and polite. man.My wife gives massage in an almost open area, not in a room.he told him it is not necessary to take off his underwear.He persisted to take them off because he felt very comfortable.She covered him with a not very soft sheet,not the usual one,in order to show him that we do not have fun here.After ten minutes he wanted to uncover his body because he could not stand the sheet.My wife got angry.She did not have a problem with the naked body,and she took the sheet with a very strict way of behaviour to show him who is the “boss” there.The man seemed to be in a very confusion state.When he turned from the other side fully naked he moved his hands like a small boy and said I have understand what you do here,I will do nothing to harm you.The rest of the time he tried to proove that never crossed his mind to take advantage of her.He asked her general questions to show that he is innocent.My wife finished the therapy earlier than the usual and all the time she was talking to other clients,spoke to him only a few words in a not very gently way,The man was very confused and “lost”.What she did was not very right.When he went to the front desk to pay he said to her in front of clients I am sorry for the trouble I caused and he offered her a dinner to apologise.He said I am not a vagrant and left ashamed.From that evening i am very sad.I have proved that this man was innocent.It was only a matter of different cultures and experiences.I know that my wife felt very proud and strong because she arranged the situation.That was the first time that something like that happened.I know that this man felt very bad according to his behaviour.I still feel very jealous because of the way she gave him the massage,and let him feel so comfortable.I must confess that I trust her as a wife.I know that in some countries you can have a massage fully naked,without to be covered by a sheet, from a female therapist.My psychologist keeps telling how wrong i am.Do you believe that this man felt nothing sensual or sexual but only my wife's strict behaviour, and he felt very uncomfortable even though he was fully naked in front of a woman,because of his experiences in sex massage etc and the country he comes from?Are people in India so free with nudism during massage? .Is it only for me such a huge matter to be fully naked with a female therapist?I can not do it not even with a male therapist.The only way to find out how he felt is to have a massage like this with another therapist.My wife says that he did nothing bad to offence her and his behaviour was very gently and she is sure that she was unfair with him.What that man did was right?what did he expect?That she would not mind with this situation at their first contact?How can i get over this problem?To become a nudism?I need to understand what was the real feelings of this man.Please answer to me as soon as possible.I need your profesional opinion to solve my problem.Thanking you in advance.
Posted by Anonymous | Wednesday 6 April, 2011, 18:27Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry that you have gone through such a hard time. I hear your confusion and uncertainty.
There is no way that I can tell what went through the mind of your wife's client that day. I do not know his intention with the massage as I am not him, nor know him.
You mention several things yourself. That there are cultural differences, people have different ideas and approaches to massages. You seem convinced that he was honest and did not have any negative intentions with the massage. Your wife seems to think the same. So that is most likely what it was.
It is good that you're seeing a psychologist as this situation weighs so heavily upon your mind. I wish you all the best on your journey and hope you soon will find peace and clarity.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Thursday 7 April, 2011, 08:48Mrs Poulsen,thank you so much for your reply.My real problem is that I believe,that during a massage with a female therapist, men should not be fully naked and completely uncovered.It is an insult to her.I can understand that she does not have a problem and that you relax and forget everything about sex, especialy from the way the therapist deals with you.Do you know if it is very often across the world, or in your country, for a man to have a therapy massage, with no sexual intensions,from a woman and be completely naked and uncovered? I would like to know your professional point of view and experiences.Is it a big mistake for me to believe such things and be so narrowminded?These are my last questions I will not bother you again.Thank you very much for your help!
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 7 April, 2011, 20:57apologies for the awful typos and grammatical tangles in my post above! Delete…. and here goes the cleaned-up version:
I know perfectly well that professional massage is not meant to be sexual, and the last thing I want to do is offend or upset the ladies who do the job. Indeed, when, as happens some of the time, I find myself somewhat attracted to the therapist (the situation and treatment may have something to do with that), I am of course perfectly aware that even if one were to have the least chance at some mutual attraction eventually emerging, the one sure-fire way to stop that dead (as in normal life) would be to present her with an immediate and blatant erection. Definitely not the 'play it cool' technique…
So that's why I find it annoying that in nine out of ten times (and, I'm afraid to say, 10 out of 10 if the lady is attractive) I do get aroused, often tremendously so, ejaculating perhaps half of the time.
So what I'm saying is that my intellectual understanding and appreciation of the proper context – and indeed even my realisation that the one way to guarantee failure in any hypothetical attempts to get to know a therapist further is to show her one of the first reactions is point blank sexual arousal – does nothing to stop my body and probably brain getting turned on when the moment comes: it still often gets me incredibly aroused, and it still often leads me to have an orgasm on the massage table, more than once visibly ejaculating.
With incredible grace, the women it happened with never once turned it into a problem (sometimes ignoring it, sometimes telling me not to worry about it, sometimes giving me some tissue to mop it up, and in a couple of instances actually quickly mopping it up themselves), but that doesn't make it any less inappropriate. Especially once the brain escapes the hormonal invasion again and sees the real picture – sadly typically minutes after the orgasm subsides…)
I don't see an obvious solution. Except stopping going to have massages.
The sub-conscious must be playing a role: it never happened in the few cases where the therapist was male, nor where it was an older lady (such as a fantastic little wizened old lady in Thailand). But while I don't mind the old ladies (in fact I'd go back any time to that Thai lady, who seemed to know exactly where my knots were!), I simply can't get fully comfortable being massaged by a man: just don't get the feeling of all-over well-being of being pampered that massages otherwise give.
The last time was yesterday – and I had even taken the precaution of following your advice and masturbating half an hour before I went – having delayed this massage session for 3 months after the previous experience. So, looks like this is a lost cause…
Posted by Anonymous | Thursday 7 April, 2011, 21:24Dear Pia,please do not misunderstand me,I have my personal reasons,nothing bad,to ask the following question.Do you know if it is very often and common for a man, to have a professional massage therapy (not a sexual one)by a female therapist and be completely naked and uncovered?Do you believe that many people/clients and therapists feel very comfortable with that? Not in USA,because it is not allowed by law, but maybe in your country,in Europe,especialy in Asia,etc.Please inform me about that.Thanks John.
Posted by John | Monday 11 April, 2011, 16:02Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry to hear that you still experience problems when you receive massages. It sounds like you have found the answer to your question though. To try to find an older female massage therapist where your subconsciousness doesn't play games with you.
Alternatively, you might want to look into why younger massage therapists are so attractive and come to the bottom of what is actually at play. I am certain a psychotherapist will be able to point you in the right direction on how you can become more relaxed around females and how to de-sexualize the situations.
Best of luck.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Monday 11 April, 2011, 16:28Dear John,
I do not know how customs are in other places of the world as I have no experience with it. I know that in France it's not uncommon with non-sexual, undraped, nude massages. But if it's the norm or not I cannot say.
Nor can I speak for most people. I know some of my male clients do not feel uncomfortable. Those who are uncomfortable request draping or keep their underwear on.
Each country have their own customs and boundaries. The US being one of the most prude in this regard. But that said, I've had French clients draped/clothed, and American undraped/nude. It really depends on the person what they prefer and are comfortable with.
That said, now that I'm doing LaStone® Therapy, it is rare that I do an undraped massage as I use the sheet/towel as a protective layer when placing hot stones. And I work in a cooler room where undraped would become uncomfortable and too cold.
I do not see much reason to let the matter of customs take up a lot of time or energy though. Undraped nude massages happen in some places, and in others they do not, without it being anything sexual or even be about nudism.
Best of luck in your hunt for answers.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Monday 11 April, 2011, 16:36Dear Pia, thank you so much for your helpful answers.I live in a small town and it is very difficult to find a person with your experience,to ask some thinks that concern me.Please do not misunderstand me,but as I have written to you to my previous comment,my wife is doing almost the same job with you,and to be honest I feel a little bit jealous especially when she gives a massage to a man, who is undraped and nude.I know very well, that this is only a professional therapy and nothing more.I do want to speak to my wife about that,because I want her to feel free in what she is doing, and she loves it very much.I believe that she is made for this job.I do not want her to feel sad because of me.Which is your advice to me in order to forget about this jealousy? I would appreciate your reply.Thanking you.
Posted by John | Friday 15 April, 2011, 20:21Dear John,
I am not a counsellor or psychotherapist, so I cannot know what the solution is to your situation.
My suggestion is that you bring this matter up with your therapist and maybe attend couples counselling with your wife as well. This way you in a safe environment can express your feelings and find the solution which will work in your situation.
Best of luck.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Friday 15 April, 2011, 21:24Hi Pia,
It is refreshing to read your comments and surprising how many people worry about erections; they happen.
Somewhere up this thread you mentioned that “there is no therapeutic reason for her to touch your privates [and it]is never appropriate”. Later, when one man said “one of her hands rests on my private parts holding them clear of my groin and her other hand is massaging my groin, you stated “if both of you are fully comfortable and at ease with the massage, then there's nothing wrong at all”.
I spent many years in Europe and most massages were undraped. For several years I saw a therapist who was well over sixty years old and very experienced. My problem was, and is, sciatica however I have great pain in my right testicle. The therapist was comfortable working in the area and while she would occasionally brush my genitals I was never uncomfortable with the contact. One day after coming in with severe pain, and experiencing pain during the massage, she lightly massaged my genital region. Yes I became erect, but it was more relaxation than stimulation and did not go on long enough for me to ejaculate. That form of massage continued until I left Europe although I did not always get erect.
After returning to the US I have been lucky enough to have two therapists (I have moved) that, while they do not massage my genitals, they do not worry about them. They work in close and move “the equipment” as required.
Where I currently live there are draping laws and although my therapist does use draping, although my therapist tends to abandon it when it gets in the way. While she does not generally touch my genitals, she also does a lighter massage of the region when it has been painful. By the way, I have been do a doctor for the pain and he had no answer.
There has been a lot of talk about draping and non-draping, and of course, erections. My question that has taken me a while to get there, is, aside from legal issues, can there not be, in time, a trustful relationship between client and a therapist that does not worry about the boundaries? I am not talking about happy endings. I am talking about not being so uptight about touching.
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 16 May, 2011, 20:14Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your thoughts and sharing your story.
The question is not only about boundaries. But also about intention and misunderstandings. Can we ever be fully sure about the intent of another person?
I would opine, such is not possible unless there is 100% trust going both ways.
By draping/not touching/setting boundaries, you have more certainty that the intentions are right.
Of course you have situations where touch of private parts will happen. Just think about a gynaecological examination, a doctor examining a patient and so on. In most of these cases the doctors are specifically trained to perform such intimate examinations. The system ensures that the doctors are suitable and the patients are protected.
So, it's not just about being uptight about touching, but also about ensuring that the therapist has the right education to perform the work, as well as there being a system in place to ensure quality, vet out misuse and ensure that intentions are always clear.
Unfortunately we live in a society where intentions are misunderstood constantly. I have people calling me for sexual massages even if I state clearly I do not do such, you have women wearing short dresses whom are seen as valid targets for sexual harassment and assault, you have adults who can't even hug a child out of fear that they're conceived as child-molesters.
Our intentions are questioned, second-guessed or ignored in many situations. Saying them out loud is unfortunately not always enough.
As an ordinary massage therapist, we do not have the status of a medical professional, which makes clear that nothing sexual can be expected – like a doctor or a hospital employee has. Nor do you as an ordinary client have the protection and support a patient would have.
As for your pain-issue. Here in France at least, I know there are physiotherapists specially educated to deal with issues on the groin area. Perhaps the same is true where you live.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia | Thursday 19 May, 2011, 11:05majzoub hola sra pia cuando viene a venezuela, exelentes sus comentarios, la felicitooooooooooooo….!
Posted by majzoub | Saturday 21 May, 2011, 11:56im suprised the reaction to this topic, i say keep the nudity to your partner and a proffessional massage should be just that, no where near the genitals by the opposite sex
Posted by manchester hair Extensions | Monday 30 May, 2011, 17:54Hello Pia,
First, I love your blog.It is so reassuring.
I do get erections on occasion without any sexual thoughts. It does take away from my ability to relax because of the way most Americans think. For this reason I think that males have a tough time getting a massage.
I have had many massages in Central America and they were totally nude. I was able to relax. Didn’t have those weird feelings that I get when I get them here in the USA.
And yes, on occasion they touch or move my genitals or hold them out of the way. No intent on their part. I am much more relaxed and leave the massage much more relaxed than I do here.
I have also had massages there by males and they were the same and often got an erection but didn’t think a thing of it. I do prefer a massage from a female and I think that they are more nuturing.
One incident I had in the US. was a great massage with just my underwear on and no cover. It was a great massage. I told her so and said that I would like to come back and have another by her as it was so good.She responded that it would be fine, if I didn’t get a hard on! ( her words) I left dumbfounded. NO I did not return. I feel that that comment makes me so nervous every time I go now. I think of this every time I get a massage.
What is wrong with people?
Thanks for letting me vent.
You truly are an asset to your profession. Please educate your people as best you can. If they don’t like or understand the body and it normal reactions advise them to go into a different line of work. Not all men or women are pervs.
Sincerly, Mike
Posted by Mike | Tuesday 17 April, 2012, 04:10Hello Mike,
Thank you for your comment.
There is a therapist for every client out there, but it can be a bit difficult to find the right match. I do hope you’ll soon find someone who isn’t bothered or insecure about your erections and who’ll allow you to just relax and receive the massage.
Cheers,
Pia
Posted by Pia Poulsen | Tuesday 17 April, 2012, 10:04As a male, I usually only get partial erections and only some of the time, usually when working on my abs or quads. I can remember only one time getting a full erection, and it was my first or second time with this lady. She immediately started asking me questions about my kids and family, and it became obvious that she noticed what had happened to me. I found this highly embarrassing and really struggled to ever go back to her for a massage. I would prefer a therapist did nothing and ignored it, as opposed to asking silly questions in a rushed fashion as if the therapist was somehow in danger or something. She acted like if she could just get my mind on my kids, my erection would stop, but the arousal had nothing to do with what I was thinking, it was just purely random. I was wanted to post this as an example of what not to do…if you make it obvious that you notice it it’s embarrassing to the client.
Posted by Anonymous | Monday 14 May, 2012, 14:23My regular therapist asked me, after a year plus of weekly sessions if I minded being fully nude. She wanted to use some Esalan techniques, since she had beeing studying that type of therapy.
That did surprise me but I agreed. I don’t have any reactions during massage, not after getting them regularly for 4 decades, and I didn’t at that.
What I found interesting was she asked without being shy or awkward in any way.
Perhaps because I am just a harmless looking Grandpa type? She also always covers me with a soft towel after she is done with the long strokes which I have learned to like.
No touching of any kind, ever. I do find I miss it being like that when I visit a different therapist when mine is on vacation or something.
There is nothing wrong with nudity in what is actually a medical type setting, at least for me.
Posted by TedS | Saturday 10 January, 2015, 01:50